WHAT?

JUST THE TEN OF US follows the trials and tribulations of the ten members of the Lubbock family. A large Catholic family; they move cross-country from Long Island, NY to Eureka, CA after the family patriarch, Graham, is fired from his teaching job at Dewey High. A conundrum boils up almost immediately upon arriving: Graham’s new employer is an all-boys school; putting a big question mark where his predominantly female family would go to school. Luckily, St. Augie’s was willing to make an exception for the girls of the family and let them be the sole female members of the school.

The family was of the lower-middle class variety, making the raising of a whopping eight children all that more difficult. Graham was busy enough with his teaching job, and attempts to take a second job proved to be too much to bear. Graham’s wife, Elizabeth, might have been busier still doing her motherly duties. The four oldest daughters, unable to find suitable employment themselves, find a way to contribute to the family coffers: showbusiness. They get a regular singing gig at the local pizza joint, and they end up calling themselves “The Lubbock Babes”. This career path would become a larger and larger part of their lives as time went on, much to their father’s concern.

The extant series ended much too soon to provide the family with a satisfying narrative arc. That’s what The Lost Episodes hopes to achieve. To connect us, in our own timeline, with the stories from another that will tell us where the Lubbocks could have gone had cooler network heads prevailed.



WHO?

Characters in ITALICS are original characters by the author. All others are from the extant series.

The Lubbocks

GRAHAM is the head of the Lubbock household. Making a living as a gym teacher, and as any other teacher St. Augustine’s Academy might need; he often toggles between a jovial father figure and a strict patriarch. The latter characteristic is at its most intense when Graham’s four teenage daughters come into contact with members of the opposite sex; a type of person he disparages as “pigs”, in spite of being one himself. Like most men his age, he struggles with the legacy he will leave behind; and sees his family as the primary indicator of that legacy. Hence, he works profusely to provide for them and guide their futures, even if he goes too far sometimes.

ELIZABETH is the family matriarch. She relishes her role as a housekeeper and as a mother to her eight children. She is not afraid to speak her mind; and not afraid to put her foot down, even towards her husband. She is a particularly enthusiastic Catholic, one could even say she’s enthusiastic about everything she does, both of which may explain why she has eight children.

MARIE is the oldest of the eight Lubbock children. She is like her mother in many ways; sharing Elizabeth’s devout Catholic faith, for example. She will pray the Rosary while her sisters talk about boys and makeup. Actually, Marie has a tendency to take everything she does to extremes; the most glaring example of which may be her highly repressed sexuality. She is constantly battling what her faith tells her to do, and what her libido tells her; the former always winning out.

CINDY represents the “dumb blonde” stereotype, despite the fact that she’s a redhead. Her inherent ditziness will often cause her to misinterpret what people say (such as thinking Joan of Arc was one of the stars of Knots Landing). But while she might not be the sharpest member of the family, she may very well be the most pure-hearted; showing little malice even towards people who annoy her. That being said, she will defend herself if she feels she’s been wronged; up to, and including, breaking said wrongdoer’s arms.

WENDY is the actual blonde-haired member of the Lubbock kids. Unlike her twin sister Cindy, who was born eleven minutes before her, Wendy has a particularly sharp mind. Also unlike her sister, she uses that intelligence almost exclusively for her own gain; putting that brain power not towards book-learning, but rather towards scheming and boy-chasing. Indeed, she is the most outwardly boy-crazy of her sisters, even if she doesn’t have the freakier tendencies that her sister Marie tries oh-so-hard to repress.

CONNIE is the black sheep of the Lubbock sisters. She’s bookish, a bit cynical, and quite a bit feisty. She has a repertoire of comeback lines that Dorothy Zbornak would be proud of; and if that’s not enough, she’s not afraid to throw a punch, either. She’s not afraid to stand up for what she thinks is right, even if it gets her in trouble sometimes. That being said, she can also be quite sensitive; perhaps stemming from her insecurities about Cindy and Wendy being more popular with the boys.

J.R. is the oldest of the two male Lubbock children. Like his sister Wendy, J.R. uses most of his brain power for his own personal gain; in his case, trying to gross his older sisters out. He will go to great lengths to achieve those ends; creating elaborate displays with professional horror makeup. However, these efforts are often met with annoyance rather than shock. In fact, most of J.R.’s interactions with his family comes in the form of derision from his sisters.

SHERRY may not be the youngest of the Lubbock children, but she is the youngest among those old enough to have a personality. Like many pre-adolescent girls, she thinks she knows more than she does. This often shows itself in the form of snide remarks about her siblings. Also like girls her age, she’s in a great, big hurry to grow up.

HARVEY and MELISSA are the two youngest Lubbock children. Too young to really have personalities at this point in the show’s run.

St. Augustine’s Academy

FATHER ROBERT HARGIS leads St. Augustine’s Academy, as well as it’s adjoining chapel. He is a man often battling two sides of himself. Despite being an ordained priest, he is not as enthusiastic of a Catholic as some members of his flock. One could say he does just enough faithful duties to keep him in his job, with some enterprising scheming mixed in to keep the books balanced.

FATHER HAROLD “BUD” KIMMEL is Father Hargis’ right-hand man. An amateur broadcaster, Bud calls most St. Augie’s sporting events, though his broadcasts are usually limited to his own spartan quarters. He also has a tendency to be clumsy, both with his words and his actions.

SISTER ETHEL is the elderly assistant-at-large at the school; at least that’s the intent. In practice, Sister Ethel is the proverbial bull in a china shop; mistaking anyone for practically anyone else, taking liberties with her various assignments, and generally doing as she pleases. At her age, though, no one has the guts to tell her not to.

The Dooslers

GAVIN DOOSLER is the clumsy, dorky, and generally uncoordinated member of the St. Augie’s student body. Despite his family’s wealth, he is not very popular, and is usually only referred to by his last name. Like most young men his age, he desperately seeks companionship from the opposite sex; and like most boys at St. Augie’s, he seeks it from the Lubbock sisters, the only girls at the school.

CHAZ DOOSLER is Gavin’s father. The chairman of Pacific Petroleum, he provides more than a tidy sum for his family to live on. He is particularly judgmental; both towards his son, and the Lubbock family. However, he rarely realizes how his harsh judgements are received by those he’s judging.

MITZI DOOSLER is Gavin’s mother. Like her husband, she is judgmental towards those around her; though she’s usually kinder towards her son than Chaz is. She sees herself as a trophy wife, which manifests itself in some very vain behavior; like going to Switzerland for vein surgery.

The Millses

OWEN MILLS is Wendy’s favorite out of all of her love interests. He’s not anywhere near as interested in physical affection as Wendy is. That doesn’t deter her from trying to get him to come around, even as he continues to politely rebuff her.

REV. ROBERT MILLS is Owen’s father. An Afro-Pentecostal minister, and a single father, he’s very trusting of his son’s judgement; and Owen usually reciprocates that trust with responsible behavior. He does find, sometimes, that his son’s judgement can lapse when trying to help his fellow man; sometimes forcing Robert to not let a good deed go unpunished.

GERTRUDE MILLS is Owen’s grandmother. In stark contrast to her upstanding son and grandson, she isn’t afraid to say exactly what’s on her mind.

The Townsfolk

BILLY GRIM is Eureka’s most prominent newsman, or so it is in his own mind. Indeed, he is very much in love with himself; willing to do whatever it takes to be in front of a camera. He’s also very fast to express his own opinion about matters of the world, even if those opinions aren’t about anything significant whatsoever.

BLITZ is the town’s resident himbo. Always dressed in the punkiest of outfits, Blitz lives to have a good time. He has little need for book smarts, as he wanders the town aimlessly. His good looks make him an attractive target for the semi-lecherous Wendy; though he has no concept of commitment (aside from preferring to make out with one girl at a time). While his muscular, punk appearance might suggest that he’s aggressive, he is in fact a man without malice; the only dangers he might pose would be purely accidental.

DANNY is the owner of the pizzeria that The Lubbock Babes perform at, as well as their de facto manager. A bit of sleazebucket, though this usually shows itself in the quality of the food he serves.

JASON LITTLE is Connie’s love interest. One of St. Augie’s out-of-town students, he soon finds after arriving that Connie is a kindred spirit; sharing her sarcastic wit, and disdain for the other Lubbock sisters intricacies.

MAYOR ED LOMBARDO is the mayor of the city. A typical corrupt politician; he acts with the assumption of impunity, which is usually a safe assumption as he’s inexplicably very popular. He also is far more likely to listen to the concerns of his male constituents than his female ones.

MR. PRUITT is the owner of the Burger Barn. A gruff, elderly man who, like many men his age, cares little about what people think of him. He is also Gavin Doosler’s employer; Mr. Pruitt being impressed enough with his work ethic that he made him assistant manager.

HOW?

When ABC released its schedule for the 1990-91 season, the absence of Just the Ten of Us left some confusion. The show’s decent performance despite airing at the nadir of the primetime week, Fridays at 9:30 ET, left many more confused why it wasn’t there. In all likelihood, it was the network’s way of quietly cancelling a show that, without much reasoning, was a critical whipping boy. That is, if critics even found it to be worth acknowledging.

All of these factors made for a startling discovery for the entertainment press during the network upfronts of 1990. The last thing on their minds was this now-late minor hit that was birthed from a backdoor pilot episode of Growing Pains. Soon, however, it would be all anyone could talk about. That’s because at NBC’s upfront at Radio City Music Hall; everyone would find out that Just the Ten of Us, of all shows, had in fact been rescued by the most unlikely of saviors: Brandon Tartikoff.

Indeed, NBC had been sniffing around for a few months now. No one is sure which executive at the Peacock web had gone to bat for the show, or what tipped them off that ABC might be giving the show the ax, or what would make the #1 network at the time want to pick up another network’s sloppy seconds. That’s something CBS had done just a month prior when it picked up The Hogan Family from NBC after they failed to renew the show in a timely enough manner. But that was CBS, a distant third in a three-man race, and a network that had long struggled to attract young viewers. It would seem if any network was poised to save Just the Ten of Us, it would have been them.

Instead, it was NBC who swooped in what was a herculean effort to get the show signed on in time for their upfronts. Because ABC waited so long to cancel it, and because NBC usually went first in the upfront pecking order, they had little time. They could have waited until after the upfronts, but that would have hurt the show’s promotion with advertisers. They could have waited until mid-season, but they felt that would leave too much time for the show’s current fans to forget about it. They needed to get Just the Ten of Us signed with NBC, and fast.

NBC left a contingent staff in Burbank to hammer out a deal with the people at Warners, while Tartikoff took off for New York. The negotiations were more than amicable, but even friendly negotiations take time. Luckily, the time it took turned out to be short; and with 48 hours to spare, Just the Ten of Us had a new home.

The only question now was: where to put it on the new lineup? This was a tougher decision than it seemed because almost all of those timeslots had already been filled. They weren’t going to bump an existing show, thus they decided upon postponing another show’s premiere until mid-season. That would almost certainly mean paying the corresponding studio a penalty, but to NBC, it seemed an acceptable price to pay.

Despite the critical panning, NBC saw major potential in the show. They saw the cast as one of the most dynamic in years, and they believed the show’s writing was some of the sharpest on television. They also saw, especially in The Lubbock Babes storyline, an unprecedented opportunity for merchandising. Brandon Tartikoff once infamously said that Michael J. Fox was a face “you’d never see on a lunch box”. Tartikoff was wrong on that front, but he felt very strongly in his hunch about the potential success of a Brooke Theiss or a Matt Shakman lunch box; not to mention what a Lubbock Babes concert tour might mean for the network, and its affiliates.

It was now a matter of picking a time. They had narrowed down the possibilities to Monday at 8 ET, or Saturday 8:30 ET. Just the Ten of Us would get one slot, a new vehicle for up-and-coming rapper Will Smith would get the other. Once the choices were narrowed, the shows more risque humor made the decision surprisingly easy. There was another show already on NBC following the Saturday 8:30 slot, with a very different demographic but a very similar sensibility to Just the Ten of Us. That show? The Golden Girls. It seemed like a very odd fit at first blush, but Just the Ten of Us and The Golden Girls could have unexpected crossover appeal. Plus, where else were they going to put it?

All that was left now was the upfront. The schedule was laid out on the Radio City Music Hall stage with care. The entertainment press arrived in droves to record the proceedings. During that time, an unnamed reporter was heard to exclaim “Just the Ten of Us?! What the fuck?!” Indeed, when it was time for Tartikoff to answer questions, the very first question was about Just the Ten of Us. He was asked why they went to the trouble to pick up the show when, for starters, picking up any show from another network isn’t something a top network does very often. Secondly, why pick up the spin-off of a show that was still going on another network? And thirdly, why pick up a show with mediocre viewership and not a single positive review from a professional critic? Tartikoff simply responded: “We believe in it”. When news got out that the show had been saved, and by one of the most-respected names in the business no less, the cast and crew were in stunned and relieved disbelief.

So the job was done. NBC got what it believed to be a linchpin of their lineup going into the 1990s. They had to work hard, and answer a lot of incredulous questions. Only time would tell whether it was the right decision to save the Lubbock family on the wings of a peacock.